Nothing That Became Something But Still Nothing


“To conquer fear, you must become fear” – The Taken Man

I don’t even know if that quote is right, I’m not gonna check it, I just wanted to write a blog thing and open it with a quote.

I didn’t like Batman Begins. So there’s that.

There’s really nothing to this blog. My fingers are typing and my eyes are reading. I just hope my digits don’t betray me.

I really like fight scenes, there’s a lot of good ones but you’ll be surprised at the lack of brilliant ones. Resident Evil The Final Chapter is coming out soon (it’s probably already out in the US) and pretty much all of the reviews have complained about the terrible fight scenes.

It wouldn’t surprise me if the choreography is actually alright, the last Resident Evil movie had an alright fight between Alice and Jill. It’s nothing I would really rave on about (they also tried to recreate the Chris and Sheva vs Wesker fight in the fourth movie but it was so bad compared to the video game) but it stands out because it’s not full of shaky cam and fast editing. So it’s disappointing that the new movie just throws it all away.

For a franchise so derivative of other movies I guess I’m kinda impressed that it took them 6 movies to do the whole shaky cam nonsense.

There’s also another thing that bugs me about fight scenes today, this goes for all action scenes, not just the fisticuff ones. There’s no patience. There’s no tension. No buildup.

The very first Underworld movie is definitely not an awards movie but it has Kate Beckinsale in latex and patience. The first action scene has a slow buildup, it’s just a bunch of humans in a subway with some vampires and werewolves in disguise among them, assuming latex and leather is considered a disguise and not a “Look at the sexy vampires!” outfit. It’s almost a minute of waiting for something to kick off a fight between the vampires and werewolves.

When the action does kick off it’s slow, the shots stay for just long enough, the bullets have impact and the use of slow motion makes sense. A shootout in the middle of a crowded subway ain’t something you’re gonna forget and the slow motion forces you to remember it. It also escalates instead of starting big and petering out, Selene (Kate’s character) jumps through a door window and shortly after the big werewolf guy smashes through it.

Every Underworld movie after the first lost the patience. They wanted to be bigger and faster. Almost every movie today wants to be bigger and faster than the last. There’s a reason John Wick 2 is on so many peoples lists, it’s an action movie that promises to focus on being good rather than trying to blow you away with the same big action, shooty lights in the sky stuff.

I guess I should talk about video games. Yuck. I don’t know why I typed that, maybe my fingers are actually betraying me and it wasn’t just a bad joke?

I think video games are facing the same problem. Indie games are growing and the big AAA games are the same thing over and over and sales are shrinking. They all want to be bigger and faster but it’s the same bigger and faster again and again.

I’m really looking forward to Horizon Zero Dawn but it’s another open world game with towers to climb. Oh? The towers move in this one? Innovation! Bad fingers! Don’t get snarky. But seriously it’s just another Ubisoft Open World Game, I’m sure it’ll be better than Watch Dogs and Assassin’s Creed, that’s a given, but it’s still the same.

Video games need their patience back. Open world games are some of the busiest games out there. Stop opening worlding gaming!

Look at Resident Evil. Resident Evil 4 is considered the best in the series, do you know what that game has? Patience. Even RE5 has patience and while I did enjoy RE6 that game lost the patience (ignoring a very small section of Leon’s campaign.) Resident Evil 7 is here and it has patience.

I do like Outlast but Outlast didn’t stop to breathe, every moment was pulse pounding and it got too intense and I had to take a break. I bet you thought I made an Outlast = Resident Evil joke, eh? Nope.

Unlike Outlast, Resident Evil 7 has the breaks built into the game, the save rooms return, several minutes of just walking in-between events, even when you get the shotgun there’s a few minutes until you get to use it. All that just makes it sweeter, the shotgun has way more punch when you hold it and you’re given enough time to question whether it’s powerful enough to take out the enemies.

Halo 5 sucked hard. Some people liked the multiplayer but for me Halo is all about the campaign. Halo 5 has no quiet moments. What about the moments where you don’t shoot and talk to people? If I talk to myself in my typing does that make me insane? If I’m insane do I need to “use these little buggers?” (Legit question help a man out)

I forgot what I was about to say when I typed that but I’m typing not speaking it so I can read it and remember.

The quiet moments in Halo 5 are crap. There’s no purpose to them. Just go and talk to some boring people. That’s not quiet, the silence is literally deafening. Remember leaving the crashed escape ship in Halo 1? Epic. Best moment in Halo because it lets you think, even when the enemies show up you have time to think. It makes the first real combat in the game hold more weight.

“To conquer open world, you must become open world.”

Is this getting too long? What is the etiquette of random blog posting? Do I have to end with a question?

Who will win in a fight between Selene from Underworld (Latest movie) and Captain America (Latest movie)? I think Selene would win. But we all know Ben Affleck’s Batman would beat both of them… Topical jokes!

You were expecting something Harley Quinn related? That’s not very random is it?

Written by: MGNoxa

Gamer and erm Gamer.


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